I got an email from the mother of Jenna's best friend the other day. Apparently, Jenna had called her friend "fat," and the mom wanted my support in making sure we reinforced a positive body image for our girls. I agreed.
But that freaked me out! My sweet girl? I thought all day about how the heck would I approach that one!?! I decided I'd just casually ask her about it and see what happened.
When I saw Jenna later that day, I didn't have to bring it up. Jenna did. "She said that I called her fat but I didn't!" Jenna exclaimed, unprompted.
"Tell me about it," I said, "What happened?"
"She said she was older than me, but that's not true. I'm the oldest. And then (someone else) agreed and said that I'm the biggest because my birthday is in June and her birthday is in August..."
Aaaaah, I was beginning to understand as Jenna rambled on. This was the same "I'm bigger than you are" conversation that started a year ago. Jenna is slightly older than her friend, but her friend is taller, which always leads to these conversations about "Who is the biggest?" I bet that Jenna didn't realize she called her friend "fat" because it was in the context of being bigger, which to Jenna is a very good thing.
Big. Fat. Old. All desirable to a 5-year old. Just another lesson in how much there is to learn from these little people!
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2 comments:
I'm glad that the other mom felt like she could approach you and you could form a united front when dealing with this issue... It's sad that a five-year-old took the word "bigger", however, and turned it into "fat".... Our world has a long way to go to create a society of girls who feel good about themselves.... I picked up a book called "Reviving Ophelia" several years ago, and you may find it interesting, and perhaps helpful... Sadly, I'm certain this will not be the last conversation along these lines that you will have.... Best of luck in that!
To clarify, who knows what was actually said between the girls. I like the fact that Jenna was not negative about it and when I talked to the other mom, we both agreed that our interpretations of what the girls talk about have a big impact, so we need to be on our toes!
Thanks for the ongoing comments, Shayna!
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